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| 11/9/06
When are you usually online? I want to instant message you so we can talk for real.
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/10/06
FUCK!!! YOU WERE LIKE JUST ONLINE!!! COME BACK!!!
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/10/06
I just saw West Side Story. Me, Andie, Ethan, Dyson, Billie, Carly, Logan, and a shitload of other drama kids and parents all sat in the front. As utterly shocking as this is, it was rather enjoyable. Not even in an "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed for them" way, it was actually rather well-done. I was impressed. Seriously, I never would have believed that Alice in Wonderland and West Side Story were done by the same company. As sick as it is, I almost wish it had been really bad. James looked a little chubby. Kelsey took himself way too seriously but he was probably my favorite part simply because I love to a performer having the time of their life. Maria strangely sang sharp at times which is really unusual. She was a good actress though and her accent was good. Bernardo was more gay than Dylan, Logan, Dyson, and the Arab cousin from American Dreamz combined. The girl who played Carmen played Anita, and thankfully she has greatly improved. Everyone else was basically 12 and three feet tall. Officer Krupke was badass though. He was a 10-year-old with Marlboro cigarettes and a superb New York accent. Enough said. There were some really strong chorus members too. Charlotte Democker was the blonde shark (????) who's accent came and went like my period. Sets were really good, good props, costumes confusing at times (one of the sweaters Maria wore I own as well and I bought it at Buckle...Hmm...) I saw JoAn there at intermission and when I asked her what she thought of the show she said she was somewhere between swaring and praying (Haha... gotta love the elderly...) I was very sad you couldn't be there though and I cried. What else is new? Especially during "One Hand, One Heart." Then Carly turned around crying, looking at me for support, but the thing people don't realize about this whole situation is that I can't help people with things that I can't help myself with. It's awful. Anyone who knows the situation comes to me when they're upset and I'm just like "I can't talk about this." And I walk away. I can't be emotional in public. I'm just emo. I snapped so hardcore at Chase the other day for asking me about it. I screamed at him at like the top of my voice to never ask me about it again (it was definitely an Oscar-worth moment.) I screamed at Mary-Alice too. I hate when people act interested when you aren't around anymore. Assholes. But I'm not in a bitter mood right now I just had to let that out 'cause I'm tired of Carly being sad about you, which I'm sure everyone says about me when I'm not around. But not being selfish or melodramatic in any way, I find it very hard to believe that anyone has more of a reason than me to be sad about this situation. Anyway, I'll see if I can round up any lesbians and hippies and miscellaneous anemic boys to move to Wichita Falls. I can't imagine what you're going through with all those republicans. I carry you in my spirit. I still really like Wicked.
I love you.
That Christian Bale picture is the epitome of my future husband. The cuteness and clothes and pose. He's perfect. (Heavy sigh.)
PS- Dyson kissed me today. Yuck. Apparently our fears of his thinking him and I can be together now that you're gone were accurate. His chin whiskers scratched me.
PPS- I had a dream that you, me, Liz, and Andie all got trashed. Liz had a teaspoon of weak liquor and threw up all over her shower. You had very loud and serious political conversations with yourself in the corner and Andie stood and recited the nativity story in its entirety to us despite my pleadings. I sat completely sober in the corner shaking my head at the situation. Haha.
PPSS- I promise I won't do any drugs.
PPPSS- Dyson models now "in the valley" (a.k.a. Phoenix...)(All I have to say is DYSONSEXUAL.)
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/13/06
Thank God you're still alive I thought you had passed away and your family didn't care to let me know. I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well. If you only knew how many times I have felt the exact same way, before a recital, or show, or competition, or whatever I'm doing with my life. So I'm pro at getting through this kind of thing. Okay, I know you aren't tofuian (my religion) but here's all the advice I have:
1) SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP! Also rest.
2) Save your voice. Try to just not speak as much as possible. I know you must be having extremely intelligent conversations about politics with all "those" moms... Mostly avoid crying. It does me in way too much. Avoid laughing too.
3) Go to a health food store and get vitamins. I recommend Vitamin C (duh) and Calcium. If you're feeling adventurous I would recommend a throat remedy, syrup, anything you can find.
4) NO SUGAR. That includes "cough drops" that are actually just expensive candy. READ labels. Sugar is not going to help.
5) I know you hate it but desperate times call for desperate measures. Drink tea like your life depends on it. It will soothe your throat and the herbs are healthy and good for your immune system. Stay hydrated with hot water at least. Avoid lemons.
6) If you still aren't better when you have to sing, here are my TOP SECRET secrets that cannot be repeated to anyone else:
- squeeze your butt on higher notes, believe me, it works... JoAn makes me "lift her piano"... try it...
- push your toes into the floor, every little bit helps
- watch foods that will coat your vocals in a bad way like dairy products and chocolate
- remember why you are there: YOU LOVE TO PERFORM JESSICA AND YOU ARE AMAZING AT IT... REMEMBER THAT... THIS IS WHAT YOU LOVE AND WANT TO DO, SHOW THAT AT THE AUDITION NO MATTER WHAT
I can't think of any other life-changing words of advice but know that I am praying for you everyday. You are one of the most beatiful, talented, confident people I know. You CAN sing and you CAN act and you're very good at both. In fact, I'm extremely jealous. Just relax, don't think about being sick for your audition. Think about how awesome you are going to be when your better and having fun at the audition. Stay positive. Health is 99% a mental thing. Read the Little Prince. Look at Christian Bale. Explain to people how to say "Cowboy Hat."
Anyway, on a side note, today was Scrooge's first show and it actually went really well as far as my part goes. I'm still totally googley for Mike. I'm sorry but I am. Don't fret though, I'm completely over my drug phase. I just wish I got attention from someone other that Logan. I hope there's a super sexy... I mean... Super pretty evangelist in Texas that you can make out with on rooftops... Just make sure you tell me so I can live vicariously through you, 'cause my end is about as exciting as watching paint dry. So exciting in fact, that I entered a poetry contest to hopefully win a scholarship. Also, I finally finished my damn U of A application but I still have to do the Fine Arts College one, but the main application was what I was worried about. It took FOREVER. HOURS!!! But I feel very accomplished at having it done. I'm going to apply for your college too. And the University of NY and some other one in LA. It's all very stressful and boring. Yes, I'm a citizen. Yes, I speak English. Yes, I'm smart. Yes, I'm very involved in extracurricular activities. Yes, yes, YES!!! Blah! So boring! ...I really like Wicked. I keep waiting for it to get awful like you said but I still really like it oddly enough. I can't wait for my books from Amazon to finally get shipped here, the wait is killing me! I wasn't a girl gifted with patience. Anyway, I'm exhausted, our call was at 7am so you know how I am in the morning...
I love you.
I miss you.
Don't worry about a thing. Everything happens for a reason.
Peace out T-KED
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/15/06
Sorry this isn't a real e-amil, but I'm so exhausted it's amazing I'm alive. I wanted to know what your schedule for December and January are: like auditions, when your school starts, and family vacations, if you have company etc. etc. So yah, I love you and miss you terribly. Ug-ug-wah!
PS- Mike and I went to lunch today. =)
PPS- What's your new address and phone #?
PPSS- I ate two hot dogs yesterday. (This is how depressed I am... You see what you do to me?)
PPPSS- I want Dyson dead.
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/17/06
Hello friend. I miss you. And I still need to know what you're December/January schedule is. I hope your audition thing today went excellently. You have to tell me all about it. Today we had another school show which went very well. Audrey, Breanne, Emily, and a bunch of other kiddies I know came and so that made me happy 'cause I never know anyone in the audience at the school shows... Tonight Dyson's coming. He is also under the impression that me and Chase are dating behind his back and so I have fully given Chase permission to mislead Dyson in any way. (Muahaha.) That story about the hick yelling at you and running after you is absolutely terrifying, but then again, there's no place like Texas. I finished Wicked, and surprisingly I loved it. Perhaps that's because I went in thinking I'd hate it, but I actually found it very thought-provoking. Today I got so mad at this idiot named Tim in our cast that I hit him as hard as I could with my prop chicken and broke it... but I still felt very happy afterwards and several cast members thanked me and I got a few hugs as well... So... No regrets. What has your life been like? I feel so far away from the loop... So Shmaine (for this week) is saying we're going to do High School Musical in the spring, so naturally I cursed the heavens and borrowed it from Nolan (who is apparently dating Lizzie???? Shh... I don't think I'm supposed to tell...) And after seeing the DVD menu decided the world is not thy friend. It had cheerleaders (age 13) and a drumline playing in the backround. It all went rapidly downhill from there. I thought it was the worst thing I have ever seen and turned it off after like 15 minutes. It was horrendous, I was embarassed in front of Addie and Baxter for watching it. I think you have probably seen it, but there were like gay 13 year olds trying to sing like Whitney Houston. Even my dad was like "WHAT is this??" So Molly Sutton (AKA Not-so-Pretty-Woman meets Jurassic Park) has been doing the Cratchit makeup, which basically means that suddenly all the kids look like coal-miners so I took action into my own hands and am doing Mike's now, and everyday she throws a fit, and it's amazing. I had to share 'cause I find sick pleasure in that. She'll stand there and tell me how SHE does it and I'll just say "That's great Molly, but you've been doing it wrong..." And Mike and I laugh a lot. Haha, you have to admit, she looks like a T-Rex, all joshing aside. Today a bunch a drama geeks all went to the Brewing Co. for lunch and it made me really sad 'cause I felt like I was the only "old hand." You have all left me here (thanks a lot...) Anyway... I love you a lot and I hope SO MUCH that your thing went really well and I will talk to you soon. THUG LIFE!
PS- I attached a rough copy of a resume I have and wanted to know your thoughts and advice.
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/20/06
Hello. Your message the other night made me cry. What else is new? I totally know how you feel. I've finally just decided that at this point in my life, I'm here to get an education, not make friends. But you'll have school soon and then your life will have a goal and you'll make new friends and forget me. Don't worry about your financial aid. It will all go through fine. Everyhitn happens for a reason. Just sit back and let life go where it goes. I miss you so much. Either I'm really intelligent or you are because I feel like I have very few meaningful, world-changing conversations these days. Liz is always busy. Dyson hates me because CHase told him we were together. Chase keeps hitting on me. You still have to tell me how your audition thing went. I'm sad Scrooge is over. I have so much extra time now. It's nuts. OH! I got an honorable mention at NATS in Phoenix on Saturday. I was so stoked! That's a BIG deal so I felt very satisfied. Just thought I'd share. Other than that nothing is new in my life other than I'm very lonely and pathetic. I'm tired now, I love you. Have a better day tomorrow. I miss you.
PS- I know what I'm getting you for Christmas and it's bascailly the besy thing ever.
XOXOXO
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/22/06
Hello friend. For my U of A audition I have to choose one of these monologues to audition with. PLEASE HELP. Look them over and give me advice great white father!!! I love you.
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/22/06
Well to start out my novel: Dyson is an asshole. I am so tired of his "I am the king of the universe HEAR ME ROAR!!!" bullshit. He drives me CRAZY. I wish his "senior dancers" would just take him far far away from here. AND he picked me up unexpectedly the other day (gross... pass me the hand sanitizer...) and painfully ripped my belly ring and now there is a little cut next to my piercing so basically the whole top portion must re-heal again. No Dyson, don't try and kiss me or hold me or be suave with me. You are 13. I was writing my name while you were being conceived. Second, Chase is THE single most self-centered person I know. He NEVER shuts the hell up, he constantly interrupts me, tells me how my opinions are wrong, and how I should hang out with him. No Chase, I do not want to go to Wal-mart and play sardines with you. I don't eat fish, don't communicate with people who eat sardines, don't want to participate in anything that involves many people squished together in a confined space when you are involved, and frankly you remind me of a muchkinlander with a muscle disorder. If I had to choose between eating a porcupine or hanging out with the two of them, I'd go with the porcupine.
I'm glad your audition went well. Seven out of ten isn't bad at all. You'll definitely get something good. The only time I've ever seen you do badly was that whole "Goodbyyyeee tooo SANDraaaa... Deeeee..." escapade... So no sweat.
I am such a pathetic person. I seriously am SUCH a nerd. Not being stupid, but I am perceived as one of "those" girls who everyone knows etc. etc. But I am such a nerd. I hang out with Liz and Andie. That's it. Occasionally Dyson, Carly etc. but only in group things. Marney didn't even come to my show. Andie and I never hang out without Liz, and she's always busy with work or Jesse. Dylan is always with Spencer. Everyone else I was ever friends with is an alcoholic or moved away. At least Jenny is coming to town for Thanksgiving. Do you know who Chelsea Herbert is? She's a little fat, but cute, she's done some drama... Well she's a lesbian now... That's headline news down here so in case you know her you can be up-to-date.
I got my hair "re-reddened" again yesterday. It's intense. You'd love it. It's SOOO red. It's almost like punk red. So I'm all for it. My Grandma is in the hospital in Phx. She has a blood clot in her lungs. It sucks a lot. I've been home alone in Prescott for almsot three days. I hope she gets better soon. How is your family doing? Baxter is huge (as in like four pounds) and poops 54 times a day, no adolescent exaggeration included. I feel so fat and lazy today. I'm just alone wasting time. I'm so tired too. Even though we have three days off for Thanksgiving, I haven't slept well.
I like my random paragraphs in this e-mail. I bet you do too. You have to tell me the MINUTE you hear about your audition. I sent you another e-mail with my monologue options for U of A. You have to help me. Did you ever get my resume? Send me yours so I can see it. I need all the help I can get.
Okay well... I love you and miss you. Come back.
XOXOX
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
11/25/06
So when I updated my iTunes, it somehow came under the impression that I live in France. So not only can I not really read anything 'cause it's not in a language I understand, everything costs around "18.00Fr" which I'm assuming means francs, but it's all the euro now, so I really have no idea what's going on in the world. The plus side is that I've downloaded a bunch of rockin' French techno. So there ya go. I have major heartburn. Chase is such a douche. Last night me, Andie, Dylan, Logan, Kelly, Jenny, and her sister Emily were all hanging out (my second social outing since you've left...) and Chase showed up (we were at Starbucks obviously) and he is SUCH a leech! He tried SO hard to come with us 'cause I was throwing a party and he tried from EVERY angle to weasel himself in, it drove me UP THE FREAKIN' WALL! I HATE when people don't realize they don't belong. I know that sounds mean and cruel, but seriously... If he wasn't so rude all the time and shut up every once in a while maybe I'd like him more. Ah! Him and Dyson have just been tearing my patience to shreds! It's unbelievable. I could just go on for hours... Assholes... I had a dream about you too last night (REEREEREE!!!) It wasn't significant or touching really, we were just shopping at Snap Snap just like on a normal day like the good 'ole times. I woke feeling alone in the world. I threw a major party last night and in a house with 50 people I still felt like I was the only one there. It just fucking sucks. I still can't even believe your gone. Sometimes I find myself driving to your house when I'm just not thinking clearly, then I'm like "Oh, shit. What am I doing?" It's pathetic... I totally know what you're talking about. I feel like Guys and Dolls and Grease and all those times were meaningless now. They aren't at all, they mean the world to me... But no one I see regularly cares or knows or remembers. I can't believe Marney didn't even come to Scrooge. She's just living in a fool's paradise. She's so immature still. She just parties in her Gucci shoes that she didn't pay for and doesn't think twice. Carly's just too young to fully understand. I'm not trying to be dramatic or "WOE IS ME" but Carly hasn't been through enough to really understand what I'm going through, if that makes any sense. Not at all that she hasn't had hard times, but she's just such a stranger in the world. She hasn't had to deal with SO many things. She has no scars yet. So it just kills me when she comes to me 'cause I'm still such a wreck. Ah! Sorry to be all emo and pessimistic. But Lord knows I have no one else to talk to. Hopefully next semester at Yavapai I'll meet some cool people. Anyway, I think you might want to seriously consider going to a new hair stylist. I love you and miss you terribly. Come back.
NLuv.Heda N
...embrassez mon âne...
| | |
| I did it. The better part of me knew it was stupid, but I did it anyway. I checked out The Dark Knight Strikes Again from the library.
I had heard that it was horrible, so I went in with pretty low expectations. I got through the first half, and it wasn't great, but not terrible either. Then in came the part with Superman. Who is, of course, a government tool.
Frank Miller should never, ever, ever be allowed to come near Superman with a ten-foot pole. I don't know if just a horribly cynical person or what, but the man does not get Superman. And should not try to write him.
I put up with his portrayal of Superman in The Dark Knight Returns because I liked the rest of the book so much, and while I didn't like what he did with the character, it sort of made sense within the context of the story. But when I first saw the red cape in DKSA, I started cringing. When I started reading Wonder Woman's dialogue, I nearly started vomiting. She asks Superman, "where is the warrior who once threw me to the ground and took me as his prize?" (Or something along those lines, I don't have the book in front of me.) Bleh! I can no more imagine Superman throwing anyone to the ground and (gag) claiming them as his prize than I could imagine Wonder Women asking a man to dominate her! I don't know if it's supposed to be satirical or what, but the whole thing is so out of character that it rings false on any level. Anyway, after that Supes and Diana have horribly drawn Super-sex, which (cringe) apparently registers on the richter scale, and I'm just squigged out by the whole thing. I have to admit I stopped reading after that. I had tried to be open-minded, but at that point I gave up.
Anyone who really truly believes that power corrupts, and can't suspend that belief in a fantasy world, can't get Superman. And that's what really turned me off of this book. I hate seeing Superman turned into a dictator or government enforcer. That's what makes him Superman; not his power, but the fact that he has such awesome power yet uses it the way he does.
In conclusion: Don't ever spend your money on The Dark Knight Strikes Again. At best, you will be dissapointed, at worst, you will be left with deep mental scarring, and images that can't be unseen.
| | |
| and the library in my new town has a really great graphic novel section. Which makes me very happy. However, the first volume of The Ultimates that I borrowed there did not make me very happy.
The first Marvel comic I ever read was Ultimate Spider-man. I got the big hardcover for my 17th birthday, and I loved it. Once I started getting more into mainstream comics though, I stopped buying the trades since I was spending money on things I found that I liked more. One of which was Ultimate X-Men, something I still buy now. So when I saw the Ultimates trades at the library, I was excited to be able to read them without having to sell a kidney or anything. However, after I read the first one, I was massively disapointed.
In the first few issues, almost all the characters seem completely unlikable. Captain America is the only character that I liked. He's kind of like Superman, the aura of his character just makes you feel good. But the other characters are either mildly detestible or outright reprehensible. I found Nick Fury to be really annoying in this, even though I love him in Ultimate Spider-man and Ulitmate X-Men. Thor doesn't really do anything to offend me, but isn't featured a lot and isn't even really one of the Ultimates anyway. Which is sad, because they definately could have used another half decent person on this team to balance out the rest of theses miscreants.
Iron Man is painted as such an opportunistic rich bastard. His smug little face just makes me want to hit the guy. (they're obviously bringing in the whole alcoholism thing too.) The Hulk, in his Bruce Banner form, looks way too much like Kevin, that cannabalistic serial killer from Sin City. He's a pathetic nerd, but not a lovable pathetic nerd like Peter Parker. He's the kind of pathetic nerd that you're afraid might turn out like the cannabalistic serial killer from Sin City. And while his human form is just a little off-putting, his Hulk self floats around somewhere between silly and horrifying. Example: seeing him scream, "HULK WANT FREDDY PRINZE JR" is just silly. Seeing him talk about how he wants to rape his ex-girlfriend is neither amusing or effective to has character as either a hero or a villian. I've seen Magneto rip out a guy's pacemaker, and that's definately not a nice thing to do, but I can see him do this and still enjoy him as a character. He's a villian, someone it's fun to root against, and maybe get inside the mind of sometimes. They're obviously not trying to make the Hulk into a hero in The Ultimates, but he's not a good comic book villian either. You don't really care about his outcome as a character, you just want something to happen to get him off the page because his presence just makes you so uncomfortable.
At the beginning of the book the Pyms don't seem too bad, just a little...off. Later you realize that this is because Hank Pym is a physically abusive husband. I know this is drawn from the mainstream Avengers characters, but I can't imagine that the original story was so horrific. First he slaps his wife in the face for, basically, being too uppity. You think it's going to end there, but when Jan retaliates, he continues to hit her, while making reference to fact that he has beat her mulitple times in the past. She shrinks down to her wasp size to try to escape, but then he sprays her with a can of bug spray, gloating over the fact that it must feel like napalm on her skin. Then he uses his mind control helmet thingy to telepathichally order a bunch of ants to attack her, which is a sick and brutal attack considering his wife is two inches tall. Throughout the ordeal he shows no remorse whatsover, even when she is screaming in pain. He ends up running away, and the Wasp ends up in the hospital, brutally beaten and covered with bites.
After seeing this, I don't see how Hank Pym could ever be redeemed as a character, much less resume his role as a superhero. I'm all for realistic heroes and all that, but beneath whatever flaws they have, heroes have to be essentially good people. His actions cement him in my mind as an essentially bad person. I'd be really dissapointed if they try to bring him back in all "recovered." And I would be utterly outraged if he and the Wasp end up back together again.
So, all in all, without the domestic abuse story in it, I would still give this comic about a 3 out of 10. With the abuse part included, the story just became something I'm not really interested in reading further. I'd love to read an Ultimate Captain America, since I find the concept of him as a character so intriguing. But the strength of Cap alone isn't enough to make me want to read more of the Ultimates.
(As a footnote, does anyone know why they didn't call this series The Ultimate Avengers? The Ultimates is such a weak-sauce name. Perhaps befitting such a weak-sauce team.) | | |
| I just saw The Prestige, the new movie featuring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. Obviously, that alone was enough to get me to happily buy a ticket. It looked interesting, but I was only expecting it to be a fun but disposable movie a la The Illusionist. No. This film amazed me. When it was over, I wanted to go right back in to the next showing to catch the things that I missed the first time. I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone, but let me say it gave me and my friend enough to talk about on the hour long ride home. I beg you, if your buddies are all going out this weekend to see Jackass 2, please reconsider and go see this beautifully crafted film. I give it five stars, and Christian Bale didn't even take off his shirt the whole time. And I didn't even mind. This movie is amazing. | | |
| I got the trade paperback of the Batman Hush storyline from my library, absolutely adored it, but didn't realize until the end that it was only the first volume. And my library doesn't have volume two. And I can't go out and buy it, because I have about $2.50 to my name. Sob.
If there's anything I love more than a well written Batman story, it's a well written Batman story that also involves Superman. (And throwing Catwoman into the story can only make things more glorious.) I just love the contrast between the two of them, when they're done right. Visually and characteristically, they're polar opposites. I also loved how the art made Gotham and Metropolis mirror the images of Batman and Superman. Batman and Catwoman look so out of place in Metropolis, which still looks bright and sunshiny at night. I've put off reading this for a while even though I knew it would be good, and now I wish I had bought it while I was still working at a job that payed me in actual money. | | |
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